I love masterminding and connecting with the right people And I have a heart for service and for giving back. So think about like, one of the things that I think people make a mistake on is that if I look at your calendar and bank account, like I'll pretty much know what you prioritize. Welcome back to the art of connecting podcast. This is your host here, Haydynn Fike, back with another episode. And today I have the pleasure of being joined by Alex. And Alex is one of my amazing executive assistants friends. And she was like, you need to have him on the podcast. And so that's how we ended up. Where we are today. How's it going today, Alex, brother. I'm blessed, man. I'm looking forward to having a conversation about the art of connecting, which by the way, I love. The name of the podcast, man, you are speaking my language. Relationships have changed my life in so many ways. So just excited for the conversation. I love it. Well, I'm, I'm so excited to have you here and always excited to get to meet new guests right here on the show. So if you don't mind, Alex, if you go ahead and just kind of introduce yourself to the audience and tell people a little bit about who Alex is. Yeah. And I'll, I'll tell you what, I'll, I'll try to do my best to keep it brief and short, but born and raised in Miami. My, my parents are Cuban. My sister and I were born here and you know, I, I, I grew up just a loving middle class family, man. My parents showed me the value of just work ethic. And but also instilled in me a mindset of, you know, the typical go out and get a good job and get, get educated. And so, but I always had this fire inside of me, like in my belly to go out and create something. I didn't know what that looked like, but I always wanted to just create something bigger. I always felt like I was built for something else. And I at a college, I took a corporate finance job with general electric and quickly realized that that was not the path for me. But I had made a commitment. So I finished that two year program and I decided to go backpacking around Europe. For three and a half months with a couple of buddies. So we did we visited 53 cities in like 22 countries in three and a half months on a 7, 000 budget. So it was while I was in Europe. On the Eurorail going from train to train that I really started to immerse myself into a lot of the classic personal development books, you know, the thinking grow rich, the rich dad, poor dad, richest man in Babylon. I read all those books on the train and I made a commitment while I was out there that when I moved back to Miami, which by the way, I was going to be 20. I turned 25 on this trip and I was going to be moving back in with my parents. And that is not how I drew things up. I saw things going a little bit differently. So I had a strong motivation to create something and I decided I'm going to get in real estate. You know, I was reading a lot of books that talked about how real estate holdings were just a big part of people's wealth building journey. So decided to go to a marketing for deals bootcamp and literally like less than two and a half months later, I ended up closing my first deal and between myself and a partner, we made 44, 000 bucks. And yeah, I've been unemployed ever since late 2005. So that's amazing. So you've been in real estate the whole time. I've been in real estate the whole time. Yeah. Now I've also, you know, one of the things I realized Haydynn is that real estate is just a tool in a vehicle for me. And I specifically focus on the self storage niche and asset class, coaching people and working with people. Is really what fuels me and drives me. Like that's the reason I feel God put me on this earth is to have a bigger impact on people's lives. That's amazing. I have a, I have a similar mission as well. That's why I started my real estate meetups. Why I do a lot of what I do is it's, there's no greater feeling than. Getting to give back to someone and, you know, just creating an environment for people to succeed, you know, cause it's, I got in my own way so many times that I didn't even realize I was getting in my own way, you know, and I had to have a coach or a mentor, someone to come along and say like, Hey, you know, you know how to do this, right? Like, and I'm like, Oh yeah, actually I, I, I do know that. Yeah, man. For sure. I just need that like mental, that mental. Mindset open, you know, brother, to your point a good coach or a mentor oftentimes is what they give you is the confidence in the belief to go do something to, it's okay to step out into the unknown, even though you might fail, or you're going to have what I, what I call learning lessons or experiences. So yeah, a hundred percent, man, a good coach will give you the confidence to go take the action that's inside of you. You just don't know you have that. You just oftentimes are crippled by fear and by doubt. And by all these things that I think a lot of entrepreneurs go through at some point in their journey. So when you were first getting started, what were some of the people that you ended up meeting that really kind of helped you get going? Cause I feel like that's where most people struggle the most. And like, even in my journey too, like your first a hundred thousand, like in the bank, that is the hardest, right? Who are some people that came alongside you to, Yeah, look, I think of the first person, Ray Gonzalez, who's a good friend of mine, who I worked at General Electric with, and he was a little further along in his real estate journey than I was. And I remember the first, I went door knocking, like literally I would door knock pre foreclosures and my first deal was a short sale. And I remember literally meeting with the homeowner and getting the paperwork signed and having so much fear about, okay, what do I do next? There was almost an element of imposter syndrome, like who am I, my first deal now helping somebody who's in pre foreclosure and I remember specifically calling him and saying, Hey man, I just got this, this contract. I don't know what I'm supposed to do next. Do you want to partner on this deal? And sure enough, man, we, we, we got through it. I learned a lot from the process. I think one of the biggest mistakes I made Haydynn early on in my journey was I viewed the coaches and mentors as an expense. And then in 2007, I decided to get involved in my first fix and flip on a luxury property. And you know what happened in 2008, the market crashed between myself and a partner, we lost 102, 000. And oftentimes people ask me like, what's the best deal you've ever done. And I've, I've been fortunate to have done a lot of deals throughout the years. That is the best deal I've ever done, because that was the catalyst for change. That was the catalyst to go out and find somebody. So I hired a coach. And that literally the first time I'd ever paid for coaching. And then I quickly realized this isn't an expense. This is an investment in myself because a, they're giving me the confidence. There's accountability, there's specific guidance and instruction. And then I learned that like, you are the best investment you could ever make. Not crypto, not real estate, not storage, not any of these things. It's yourself. Right. And so since then, since 2008, until today, I've been I have never even been a day without having personally work with a paid coach. Wow. That's incredible. So do you have multiple? I do. How does that work? I do. Yeah. I have, I have a, I have one for, you know, just business in general. I have a life coach at one point up until recently I had somebody helping me on my health journey. At one point my wife and I had a relationship coach. So throughout, you know, I, I view coaching as not just investments, but like, to me, it's like the ultimate insurance policy because I, it's as cliche as it sounds, Haydynn, like we don't know what we don't know. And relationship capital to me is the most valuable capital you could ever raise. Not how to get private money or like just access to capital, like actual money, but it's relational capital. So I've always been driven by thinking relationally, not thinking transactionally, I'm not looking for, to just do one deal with you. I'm looking to build a relationship and if we can do business together, great. And if we can't, that's cool too. But it's like, man, to me, life is just so much more rewarding and fulfilling when you have an inner circle, you've, Intentionally immerse yourself in an ecosystem of people that are like minded where there's core value alignment that are not there to necessarily extract and take anything from you, but are there to give and contribute and they know that by doing so the laws of reciprocation tend to tip the scales. In their favor anyway. And so that's the kind of, just the mindset I have. That's amazing. And I think about two, so it's funny, cause I'm in, I'm in the action Academy mastermind. So it's, it's a big group of, we've now almost got 400 people, which is crazy. I joined when I was 30. Wow. And it's a big thing is come in in the first 30 days and choose your asset class and you get all these newbies that come in and they're like, so excited. Like, what's your asset class? What's your asset class? I'm like, my asset class is human capital. And they're like, what? And I'm like, my asset class is human capital. Like, like, I'm like not human trafficking, human cap. Like my, my asset is the people that are in my contact list, you know, and the people that know, like, and trust me. And that's led to, you know, self storage deal to flips to rentals, amazing soon to be probably a hotel if all comes to be as I think it will. But. Man, you cannot put a value on knowing the right person at the right time. That's it. So I want to dive into, I want to dive into 2007 2008 cause there's not very many people that I get on my show that I really get to have the perspective of, of someone who's been doing the same thing, you know, or similar industries since 2008. So you lost the money on that deal. How did you say a float? What did that tell me that story of, you know, we did this deal, it went wrong. Like what happened after? Okay. Yeah, no, I'm happy to get into it. And by the way, I think This is the type of dialogue that I think entrepreneurs need to be putting out there more, not just celebrating the wins, but also highlighting like, Hey, here are the challenging times, because I don't know about you, Haydynn, but like, I tend to learn a lot from the challenges people go through and nobody is surprised. Like you're not, everybody's going to be susceptible to challenges. I mean, that's life, but it's not necessarily what happens, but how are you going to respond to what happens and how do you grow from whatever experience you might be going through? So, man, I'm fortunate that like, and I don't know, this is maybe just how I was brought up in my wiring. Like when I'm clear on what I want, I tend to like, Take action and then kind of the ready fire aim type of approach. So when I got into real estate, like early on, I had some success. I think I may have closed 11, 12, 13 deals my first year. And the second year, you know, 2000 heading into 2007, I was doing well. And but I was focused on wholesaling. Like that's what I knew the 20 something deals I had done up to that point were all wholesale. And I did not have my finger on the pulse of the market. I didn't, I didn't know what was coming up ahead. This is my, nobody in my family is an entrepreneur. First time I get involved in, in any type of business. And so I was just thinking this was a gravy train. I'm just keep doing what I'm doing. Not realizing that this crash was about to happen. And I got outside my lane. We ended up buying a property in the Las Olas area of Fort Lauderdale for 505, 000. We thought we were going to put. Roughly 75, 000 to 100, 000 of work into the property. And we thought we could sell it for about 760 770 around there. And of course things started to collapse. Banks started going under money dried up really, really quickly. And I was fortunate that I had had some success early on in my journey, because had I not that 51, 000 I lost, because it was between myself and a partner, like that could have totally sunk me. And I remember at first being, I don't want to say angry, but just like more upset at myself. Like, how did I let this happen? And I quickly realized I'm like, had I had somebody that was a little bit further along in the journey. I likely would have never even gotten involved in this deal because the margins were too thin because of like the, what was going on in the market at that time. And, and so, yeah, man, I quickly realized that like, I'm going to make mistakes in this journey of mine. And by the way, this applies to not just like, you know, starting and building and scaling a business, but any aspect of my life, man, like we're human. We're going to make some mistakes. I think the key is. Like I've been a big fan and advocate of what, what in football, there's the Monday morning quarterback, right? A quarterback plays on Sundays in the NFL and then on Monday, he gets in the film room and he dissects the film and figures out what went well, what didn't go well. And as a result of that experience, I started to do that. And I started to look at my journey and say, Hey, how could I have done this better? How can I have done this differently? And so, man, I'm just super fortunate that that was the catalyst. Like I said, to be very mindful and intentional about who I'm choosing to be in my circle and to make sure that it's people that are going to lift me up and also tell me what I need to hear at times, not what I want to hear. So, yeah. So how, so I want to know this because I've had this happen when you start becoming a connector, you start meeting new people all the time. Right. And, and you, you start getting all of these random opportunities. So people see, Oh, you know, Alex is good at flips or maybe Alex is good at storage. I wonder if he'd be interested in this different thing. Like, have you, have you stayed focused or have you ventured out into, you Many different asset classes. Yes. And yes. Right. And so the reason I answered like that is because there have been times when I've been laser focused and most of the time, if not a hundred percent of the times when I've done that, I've succeeded at whatever I've put my head down to accomplish. There's been times where I've gotten outside my lane. Like I'll give you an, I'll give you an example. During COVID myself and a partner, we spent quite a bit of money and we bought two of these automated e commerce stores, right? Right. And, and, and that, that was just money down the drain, complete like we just flushed it and we started to get outside of our lane. You know, I, I got, I got entrepreneurs have the shiny object syndrome is real. The few times that I've like been tempted by shiny objects and I've gone down that path, it just never works out. So I like to stick to my lane, but also like, what can I do within the same vertical? Like, as an example, I partner with our, our storage wins, coaching clients on their first deal. Like that is very much aligned because I'm, I'm in the storage business. I'm actively owning and operating facilities. But I love coaching and so I've figured out ways to do what I call vision stacking, you know, I'll give you an example years ago I I hosted a mastermind where all the funds that we raised from that mastermind were given to charity There was three elements of my vision that we stacked all in one. I love to travel with my family So we went to an all inclusive resort in Jamaica. I love masterminding and connecting with the right people And I have a heart for service and for giving back. So think about like, one of the things that I think people make a mistake on is that if I look at your calendar and bank account, like I'll pretty much know what you prioritize. And I learned early on in my journey to have a crystal clear vision for what you want your life to look like. Then after that, you can figure out how the business can support and enhance that. In other words, get life on the calendar first and what's important to you. Then layer on business. And I find people kind of do it the reverse. And so I'm, I think it's important to have clarity about what you want your life to look like, and then you can start to figure out where, where are there opportunities to overlay and to kind of vision stack. And, and one of those that are really important to me, it's relationship capital, right? It's just connecting with the right people. When autumn, you know sent that text message. I was a heck. Yes. Why? Because I get to meet somebody. I don't know they have a podcast And so i've i've hosted a podcast for over eight years. So I want to support other podcasters and it's just building a relationship and then I have the opportunity to kind of give and share my story so that My mindset Haydynn is that even if this connects and resonates with one person that watches or listens Like it's worth the investment of 45 minutes or an hour or whatever that might be. Absolutely. I'm in the same exact mindset. It's like, you never know what's going to hit. You know, you never know what relationship, the people that you meet, where they're going to go on to, to be in the future. And, and one thing you say to someone I've had it happen to me already. I, so I'm 24 years old and I've been running my event for a little over a year now, and I've had people come up to me and say, Hey, there's one thing that I learned in your meetup and it started my business, right. Or like I, I started flipping three, four houses. After that, it's like, what's like, that's crazy. And you never know the one thing that you might say that could resonate with someone that would just spark them to. Pop off, you know, and like get started in their business. And so I love that so much. It's the best. Yeah. But by the way, selfishly speaking, Haydynn, how awesome does that feel? That you know, man, for me, it's selfishly. It's great, dude. It, it fuels me. It literally fuels me when I, when somebody reaches out and says, Hey man, that podcast episode that you released, like really impacted me because of X, Y, Z. And man, you bring up a, a great point. It's like, you're one conversation away. From it being a big propellant to that person, or maybe even to yourself, like, I can't tell you how many rooms I've been in, whether it's a mastermind or an event, or even just a private conversation and what that person shares with me in the way they share it at that moment, it's like, boom, I get it. Like I just, it hits me. And I'm sure that it's, it's, it's, it's reciprocal. So what I'm hoping people take from this part of our conversation, Haydynn is to put yourself out there and there's going to be introverts listening to us now that might be thinking, Oh, it's easy for you guys. You have a podcast and like you're extroverts or like, it's like introverts can do this too. Right. You can do it in your way, but you just have to be very aware and mindful that. Life can be so much better when you're not seeking to extract and take, but you're seeking to connect and give. Yeah, that's so good. So when you're going into an event, for example, say you're going into a mastermind event where you don't know everybody already, what is your strategy to connect to people and find people to potentially do business with? Like, what's your mindset as you're going into those rooms? Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, man, early on in my journey, my mindset was I was nervous. Even though I'm an extrovert, I was nervous at times maybe a little bit anxious. And I realized that that's because I was in my head about what are people going to think? How am I going to look? How am I going to sound? There's that whole imposter thing. I'm around high level people that I'm not at that level. And then I quickly realized, man, that like, that's all BS. That's all crap. Like, that's just stuff stories in my head. Not nobody, nobody's thinking about me. And like, you know what I mean? It's like, people are worried about their own stuff. And so I was focused internally. Versus focus like externally. And that was the shift I had to make. So early on, I don't know that I really had a strategy and a game plan. I would just go and just try to be myself and try to be a sponge and absorb and not be a know it all. I would ask a lot of questions. And then as I started to kind of grow in my journey, I started to ask more questions and like, if I'm going to invest time and energy and money to go to an event, there's got to be a clear and specific purpose. Right. I'm not just going to wing it. I'm not just going to have a good time. Relationships nine out of 10 times is going to be at the heart of that. And there's going to be very specific people that I want to connect with. It's not that often that I go to an event where like, I have no idea who's going to be there. Right. Like, obviously I know the purpose of the event, but I think. If people have a strategy going in based around specific people that they may want to connect with. And here's a tip that I think can be really helpful for people because of social media, we have the ability to connect with people at a moment's notice. And if there's people that you want to like be around, that you want to start to build the relationship, and maybe you perceive there at a particular level, figure out how you can contribute value to that person. One advance of the events, right? And, and so people, people often times ask me like, well, how do you know what kind of value to contribute because of social media Haydynn, it's not very difficult to figure out what somebody's goals and objectives are, right? Like if somebody is listening to this and they're saying like, Hey, I really want to connect with Haydynn. Well, obviously Haydynn has this podcast. What if you went on social media and you shared it every week? And you tagged them and you said, Hey, this was an awesome episode I encourage you guys to check it out. Or if you go to Apple podcast or Spotify and you leave a five star rating and review and you share it and you just seek to give without, here's the key, without expecting Haydynn to get back to you and do something for you, but you're doing it out of the genuineness of your heart because you found the content value and you wanted to share it, that's just one micro example. Of ways that you can contribute and add value to people. And I think if you can do that ahead of time, you're just, just by doing that, you're going to separate yourself from most other people that are at the event that might be wanting to get that person's attention. Man, that's wonderful. It's, I just had a flashback when you said that. That's how I ended up in the action Academy. So I was listening to Brian's podcast for, I listened to it for a few months. And he said something, he said, Hey, if you're getting value out of this, just shoot me a DM on Instagram. And I DM Brian. And I was like, Hey, I just want to let you know, I've gotten an immense value out of your podcast for doing it. And then he goes, Oh, well, Hey, by the way, I'm, I'm creating this mastermind group and it's invite only right now, but like you DM me. So like, let's get on a call and see what you're all about. We got on a call and I ended up Venmo ing Brian. I think it was like 2, 500 for life to be in the group. Now that group costs over 10, 000 a year. Yeah, man. But I was there from the very beginning all because I sent a DM with no, I, I didn't, I didn't think Brian was going to respond to me. Right. Like I didn't expect a response. Yeah. I didn't expect anything. And then like, also I, I shouted out Brandon Turner on my Instagram story or something. And he he responded back too. So Brandon's seen. Yeah. So it's, it's crazy because these people that you think are, 200, 000, 300, 400, 000 followers. Like they're so rich, they're not going to want to talk to me. We're all just people, right? It, if, if I, and I don't have a huge following yet, but like, you know, if I see someone posting on my stuff, I'm like, it's, it's a feeling of pride. I want to help that person. Right. It's such a great point. That's it. And it means a lot. Yeah, it does. It does. No, man, it's, I think if people walk away with that little nugget right there and that, here's the crazy thing. That's free. Like that doesn't cost anything except for just having the mindfulness and then taking the action, the fact that you actually, and you might have felt a little awkward or weird. Like I'm just reaching out to this guy. Who am I like you may or may not have had some of those thoughts, but you, you push past it. If you did, you sent the DM and then now look, what kind of impact has that mastermind and that relationship had on your life and on your business? Right. Profound, probably. It's changed everything. Yeah. And, and, and what was the spark for that Haydynn one DM was a spark for that. So I've always told people like your one conversation, your one idea, your one relationship away from having a completely different life for the better. And by the way, it, it, that could also, the pendulum can also swing the other way. If you're not, if you're not super intentional about who you put in your circle, Like it's hard to hang around pigs and not get mud on you. You know what I mean? And so that can swing the other way. If you're hanging around a crowd that doesn't inspire you, that doesn't lift you up, that's going to keep you down. It's going to be difficult to ascend in life. So I've gotten this question quite a bit, and I'm glad you brought up this point. And that question is. Say you're at a networking event and you're meeting someone and you feel like it's just not going anywhere. You're not driving. How do you kindly get away from that person? Like what does that look like for you? And I, I have a, I have my own way of doing this, but what is your technique? Yeah. It depends on the conversation and the flow, but like if I, if I'm connecting with somebody and I just feel. Like there's no connection. There's no synergy. And let's be honest, like that happens to all of us. Like, I think it's unrealistic Haydynn to expect to have like a connection and a chemistry with everybody. Like, it's just not. And I think the quicker you can politely exit those conversations for not just your benefit, but for theirs as well, because they're likely feeling the same thing, the better off you are. And so one of the things I tend to do is if we're having a conversation, right? Like I'll look for a moment. Where I could say, Hey man, this has been awesome. And, and if it, if it hasn't been awesome, right? Like, I'm not gonna say that, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, Hey man, you suck Yeah. Obviously I'm not gonna insult them, right? But I'll be like, Hey man, look, I really appreciate like, you know, this conversation or you sharing this with me, like, I'm gonna need to run in a second. But let me ask you this quick question. So you see what I did there? So like, I've already planted the seed that I gotta run, I gotta go do something I, whatever that might be. But I, the key for me, that's been helpful is I will follow up and I'll say, but let me ask you this super quick question. I didn't ask him a question where they're not going to give you like their life story, but like ask them, like, what's the best place to connect with you? Like, are you on Instagram? Right? Like that's a, he's going to respond. He or she may respond pretty quickly and tell you and say, great, man, look what I'm going to do. I'm going to shoot you a DM. Right. I'll follow you. Let's stay connected. If there's something I can do to serve you. Let me know. And so, and by the way, I'll be genuine if that person reaches out to me, even though there may not have been a connection, if I can point them in the right direction, if I can, like, I'll be there for the person. But that's kind of been my strategy whenever I find myself in a position where it's like, it's probably not going anywhere, or maybe there's just not an alignment of interest or values or whatever the case might be is like, I'll just, I'll look for a moment to say. Thank you for X, Y, Z, or I appreciate it. I say, Hey man, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to run in a second, but let me ask you this super quick question. I've also had this happen to, and I have to use, this is a self conscious game. Like you have to be like conscious of what you're saying and like how long you've been talking, but I'll have it to where we meet someone and I ended up talking like the whole entire time. Cause this is not self conceited, but I live a pretty interesting life, right? Like I, I've traveled the world. I. I meet people and make money off doing that for a living. So it's like most people haven't heard that story before. Right. And so, but I'll realize that like, they'll like, I always now just try to pivot back onto the person because I could sit here and talk about my life for until the cows come home. Right. Like, cause there's, I've got so many different things going on, but like, I really, more than anything for me, I need to know what those people are doing and how I can help them. Cause that's how I make money. Right. Because if I sit here and talk about myself all day, that's fine and dandy. They met the cool guy that, that travels the world to network. But like, how does that help me? Right. You are, you already, you already know your story. If you can get to the point where you're doing less than 20 to 30 percent of the talking and you're actively listening to the person. Right? People will walk away feeling like they know you, even though you only spoke maybe 20 percent of the time this just happened to me, maybe like two, three weeks ago, where I literally Haydynn, I brother, I may have said less than 20 words in about a 10 minute conversation. I'm not exaggerating the person at the end said, brother, I feel like I've known you a long time and I don't share this like an not anything to brag about per se, but I've heard that from numerous people throughout the years is people will tell me they feel like they know me. And I think it's because I, I try to be very mindful to just be like actively engaged, listening to the person. And when I hear something, I'll be like, Oh, that's interesting. And like, I'll pitch it back to them in a different way. Okay. To make sure that they know a I'm connected and I'm listening to them. And again, those are the little separators that most people don't do. And when people feel like they are seen, heard, and understood. It takes the relationship to a completely different level. So what are some ways that you actually listen? Cause I, I struggle with like attention a little bit. I thought about it the other day as an entrepreneur, I feel like you gotta have a little bit of something going on up in your head to be able to like do all the things that we're able to handle in a day. Like it's raining outside now. And so I'm like looking out the window. But like, how do you, What are some exercises that you practice to actively listen? Cause I feel like it, I mean, it's an active, it is active. Like you have to be thinking about, okay, I'm going to listen. Yeah. You gotta be conscious about it. You gotta exactly. You don't, you don't just wing it. Like you and I are having this conversation and while you're speaking and asking me the question, I'm, I'm not fighting the urge to think about something else, but I'm like, I'm like, let me focus on Haydynn because like, brother, I think one of the big, Misconceptions in my opinion is I don't believe in balance and this might sound controversial in many different ways But people talk about like I want balance. I want a balanced life. Well I think by definition, you and I right now, as an example, are engaged in this podcast and this conversation. I'm not hanging out with, with my daughters and with my wife and with my family. So I'm off balance in that area of my life right now. But guess what? In a couple of hours, when they come home from school and I focus on them, I'm not thinking about business. And by the way, it hasn't always been that way. I have failed in that department where I've been with my family and not been super present. And that has taken a lot of intention and a lot of practice and a lot of work. And so I think when you commit to something and you said, Hey, am I operating at a level 10 in this area of my life, when it comes to having conversations, when it comes to listening, when it comes to connecting and if the answer is no, which oftentimes it is, even for myself today, I think just the awareness of it forces you to level up. So when you ask, do you have anything? I don't have any like practical tools or strategies I lean on. It's just. I think intention feels like the theme of this podcast so far. I think if you just operate your life with a certain level of intentionality and just having a certain amount of awareness about it, you're going to tend to connect with more people. Now, am I perfect? Of course not. Like there's times where I have conversation that I feel the squirrel coming along and let's be honest, man. Sometimes I'm having a conversation with somebody that I just don't really find that interesting and I just don't feel like I vibe or connect with them. And that's what I'm. You know, politely trying to exit stage left. Yeah. Yeah. I've got to go grab it. Mine. My go to is, Hey, I've got to go grab a drink real fast. Grab a refill. Right. Yeah. And the funny part is, is I don't even drink, but like, I'll get a club soda or go, you know, it's, it's my, it's my exit. By the way, look, look for like, so if you're in a social setting and oftentimes you're going to be in a social setting. Look for people that you can bring into the conversation because it makes the exit a lot smoother too. Oh yeah. I do that all the time. Oh man. It's, it's, it's a subconscious thing that I don't even really realize now. Like whenever I'm listening to someone, I'll be like, Oh, You need to go meet this person. Like, and we'll be like, let me, let me, Oh, they're over there. Let me go drag you over there. And I'll like drag the person with me. I'll introduce them. And I'll listen for like 10 seconds and I'd be like, Oh, okay. I, they're, they're going like, I'm, I'm going to go and meet the next person. Yep. Exactly. Right. You and I are having a conversation. Why it's in the court. Why? Come here, dude. I want you to meet Haydynn for a second. Right? Yeah. So that kind of thing. And by the way, just, it's, it's, it's pretty, it's pretty natural if you do it in, you know, in just a genuine way. Well, and people appreciate it. Cause then like, I've had people come back and be like, Oh yeah, you drug me over and introduced me to that person. I don't remember it. You know, so I, I do this like, All the time, you know, this is my, my job. So they'll be like, oh, you introduced me as a person and we ended up doing business together. I'm like, God, that's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, man. And like people will remember it and people appreciate it. And like for me, whenever I, I feel like I'm in a conversation and it's not that I really want the conversation to serve me. I guess really at the end of the day, I'm kind of seeking something that I'm interested in. Right? Like Right. And if I meet someone that I'm interested in, like if I meet someone that, like when I first met Shane, so. We talked for like an hour and a half because he, I talked to him and he was like, Oh yeah, yeah we, we buy a few mobile home parks and you know, we started with mobile homes and then we bought some other real estate and then whenever people start speaking like that, I'm like some, some, yeah, they own a lot. Right. Like you just know that, that people are humble. And as I got to know Shane better, we just started, you know, we started vibing on like what we're doing to grow our businesses and all that kind of stuff. And then we ended up getting kicked out of the bar together. You know, we talked the whole entire event and I felt bad because people came over and wanted to talk to Shane, but he was talking to me. Sorry guys. But And when I'm jamming with somebody that's like on the vibration level, you know, I, I dive into that relationship, but then like, sometimes I watched it the other day, have you ever seen the pitchfork video or the pitch tuning fork video? I don't think so. No. So there's a video where there's two touring tuning forks. And when there's different frequencies, there's like a ping pong ball on the other side. You can hit the one tuning fork as hard as you want, and it won't move the ping pong ball. Yeah. But when you have two tuning forks that are at the same frequency, it moves the ping pong ball back and forth. And we all have vibrations, right? We all vibrated a certain frequency, whether you believe it or not. Like we all, like we're, we have internal frequencies that, that run. And there's some people that are just on a different wavelength, right? Yeah. You're automatically going to be like, ah, yeah, this is just something about that person. It may be the best person in the world, but they're just like, you're not on the same wavelength. Yeah. And and that's okay. By the way, that's okay. It's okay. Yeah. There's so many people in the world we can do business with. That's it. It's important to do people that you do business with people that you feel like you, you vibe with because like, if you go into a business relationship and you kind of have that, like off feeling, it's going to get worse. Most likely at least that's what I've seen. Listen to your gut and intuition. Everybody's everybody's got it. Listen to it. Right? Absolutely. And by the way, you bring up it, you bring up something that's super, we talked about adding value earlier in the conversation, Haydynn, one of the ways that can, you can be a big value add, and it, it doesn't take a lot of energy is just being a connector. Like, you know, people, I know people that Haydynn could benefit from knowing and vice versa. Right? So don't be surprised if maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but don't be surprised if in the near future. I randomly send a group text, Hey Haydynn, I think with no motive, by the way, Hey Haydynn, I think you should meet this person or this person's also got a podcast. Maybe you guys can, you know, maybe do a podcast swap or whatever. Right. And even if nothing comes of it, people appreciate the fact that you thought of them enough to take a couple of minutes out just to like send a group text. I do that all the time. Or sometimes dude, I'll grab my phone and I'm not big on selfies, but I'll, I'll record a selfie video. And then I'll just fire the text, Hey Haydynn, you just came to mind, dude. I haven't spoken in a while. I hope you're well, man. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. That's it. Yeah. I did that on a Sunday before I left Atlanta. And it's kind of something you have to do when you think of it. Like I just sent 10 videos out. People will sit in my car. It's like, Hey, I'm just thinking of you. I want to say, I appreciate you. And like, there was no motive behind that. You know, I wasn't looking for anything from those people. I just want to tell them I genuinely appreciate them. This owner of the title company, I close all my deals at, you know, and just a few other people that my business partners, I sent all my business partners a video and you know, it takes so little effort to show your appreciation for people, but it goes so far. That's it can change a day, you know, somebody could be having the crappiest day and they get a video from you saying, Hey, I was just thinking of you today and I want to tell you how thankful I am for who you are for, for the person that you are, that brother, this happened, that very example happened yesterday with my EA, with my assistant. That she was, you know, she was having a little bit of a rough day, which we all have them. And I sent her a boxer randomly. And I just said, Hey, I wanted to let you know, I appreciate you and thank you for doing X, Y, Z. Cause I felt like you really went above and beyond like, thank you. I appreciate you. She called me within minutes and she goes, you have no idea how much that boxer, which is an audio message in a different app. She said, you have no idea how much that boxer, like just, it was at the perfect timing. So thank you. So I think that's God's timing. Like it's, it's truly like when you feel those things, like if you don't act on them, I feel like you're kind of, it's just a missed opportunity. Like it's, to me, it's God just saying like, Hey, you need it. This person needs you. Right. And, and maybe I'm wrong. I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but like. I think you never know what impact, you know, and there's a reason why you, I'll think of random people just out of the blue that maybe I haven't even seen in a year or two and I'll just text them and see how they're doing and catch up. And yeah, you never know what that'll lead to. And I actually even started monetizing my network too, because there's so many people out there that have referral networks and want more business. So I started asking people like, Do you have a referral program? Like in the beginning of a relationship, it's created a whole business. I have over 50 referral partners and you know, I don't try to push it, you know, only it's if, if someone comes to me and says, Hey, I need this, then I refer them. But I can refer business to people that I know, like, and trust, help them build their business and I get paid a little bit. Well, it's a win, win, win all the way around. I think, and obviously I can tell by our conversation that. That you treated it as such as like, don't ever recommend or refer something just because you're going to get paid, but do it because you believe in the product or service, you, you know, and trust the product owner or the team or company behind it. And by the way, I think transparency is also important is letting up. Like, again, this happened not too long ago as I said, Hey, I have an affiliate relationship. That's not why I'm recommending it. I use this service. I think you'll like it. Like, do you want a connection? Like nobody's I've never had one person say, Oh, you have affiliate relationship. No, no, you know, and if somebody doesn't even know what that means, I'll say, Hey, it's not going to cost you, you're going to pay the same amount. It's just, I happen to benefit and maybe I can take my wife to dinner or something with this, but nobody's going to be like, no, Alex, like, don't, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, exactly. Well, and like, I, I always, you know, I tell people when it matters, like, I mean, or if someone asks, like, but most people, like you said, they don't care. You know, I always make sure though, that they're going to pay the same price. Like I don't, I don't build in my fee to where like, I'm going to make like it would have been cheaper for them to go with another option. Right. But yeah, no, it's, it's such an amazing, I mean, that's, I, one day I'll, I'll do a whole course in videos. So once I get to 500, 000 a year in that business, like where it's generating 500, 000 a year, that's like going to be my, that's going to be my mark where I'm like, all right, I've earned the right to, to write the book on this and, and. Do the course and stuff. So where, where I would challenge you by the way is and by the way that, that as a side note, I want to be around people that are going to challenge me. And so like, if I say, and I might not necessarily agree with that mindset or approach or whatever, but I'm very open to that feedback where I would challenge you is that like, don't wait until you get to 500 grand for you to feel like you have the right, because if somebody has never generated an income from affiliate or from being a referral partner. However much money you've generated is more than them and you can teach them something. Right. So just, just a side note that I wanted to kind of share with you, but yeah, that's why I try to talk about some of the podcast too, since it's a, it's a concept that not many people think of, but when they hear it, they're like, oh, wow, that's really smart. So not very many people do it. And it's an amazing thing. So we've got about five more minutes. So something that I wanted to ask about, and you kind of elucidate multiple things that you've said. I want to ask, like, how do you prune your garden? Because this has kind of been a little bit of a theme of like, don't refer business to people who aren't going to do the best job. Like I, if I refer business to someone and they don't do a good job, they're never getting a referral from me again. Right. It's a non negotiable. Like if you, if you drop the ball majorly. It's over and then like in the circles too, like you, we talked a lot about being around the right people and how important that is. So what are some ways that you prune your garden and like, what does that look like? Yeah, there's a book that I read by Dr. Benjamin Hardy. And Dan Sullivan, who I'm big fans of, of those guys and the, the books that they author, but who, not how, right. So I'm always asking who, not how. And when I think about the who's in my life, because I'm so relationally driven, I think instinctually, right. I don't have a process or a system. Like it's not on my to do list on a weekly or monthly or quarterly basis, but I, I think I'm just wired to like evaluate relationships for what they are. And then I ask myself, okay, like, Does this relationship contribute to my life and lift me up and vice versa? Am I contributing from their perspective? Am I, am I contributing? Like last night I was having dinner with a friend of mine. And this guy is so giving, so giving, and he's always just, I feel, and usually it's the opposite. Usually like I'm the one kind of giving in this case. I'm like, dude, I always ask you, what can I do for you? And you always say like, I'm good. But like, I feel like it's uneven, right? Not that it's like tit for tat, but it's like, you've done so much for me. The least I could do is buy you a nice steak dinner, but it's like, seriously, man, like what? And, and so I have to go out of my way because he has a hard time asking to intentionally look for like the things he's doing and then just like give and just do things. So you asked about pruning your garden. I think it's just like looking at your circle and asking yourself like filtering through like, Hey. Is this somebody who I'm aligned with that I want to do life in business with long term though? I don't think short term but long term or not like I'm thinking of a dear friend of mine from college who I love him to death and I'll always be here for him and we're still good friends There's just conversations are very surface level They don't go deep. There's not a desire to grow. And so I'm not cutting him out of my life because he's certainly not detracting from me. He's also not adding to it. And while I have tried to add in that direction, there's no desire there, which is okay, like I meet people where they're at, but And so I'm certainly not pruning him out of my life. That's just somebody I'm not intentionally trying to go after to hang out with more, you know what I mean? And so there's people that are listening to us that might have drinking buddies, nothing wrong with drinking buddies per se, but is it serving you? Is it helping you long term? And if it's not, my encouragement for you to be like, to really think about leveling up with the people that you associate with. And it's totally cool that you have friends. Like I have friends that once a year I'll see them and we play fantasy football together. Right. But like, I recognize it for what it is. You know, and so not every single person in your circle has to be somebody, but they certainly can't be a naysayer or somebody like trying to pull you down never dim your light so that somebody else's light can shine brighter. So I don't know that I have a great answer for you because the truth is I don't have a process or a system. I think I'm just wired to just internally evaluate relationships for what they are. Put them into the certain category. And I want to be surrounded by people where we're going to have deep conversation. And we're going to talk about life and business and how do we give more and how do we have a greater impact? And you know, now I have a close group of, of, of of friends that have little girls, like my girls. And we talk about parenting and we talk about, you know, different learning lessons and challenges, like. Those conversations spark and inspire me to want to be a better version of myself, not just as an entrepreneur, but as a husband, as a father, et cetera. I love that. Hey, it's time for our final question. The famous final question that I ask every single guest and that is what is the connection to. or maybe a group of people that change the trajectory of your life or business. And there's a lot of different people that come to mind Haydynn. I think the first is the first time I ever hired a life coach, a gentleman by the name of Juan Carlos Bernal I was going through something extremely challenging in 2009. We, we probably don't have time for the full story. So I'll give you the modified version. I learned in 2009 that my 2006, seven and eight taxes were never filed and I owed Somewhere to the tune of about 126, 127, 000 to the IRS. This is after the crash. So real estate had not been doing well for me. And from that experience, I ended up getting connected through another good friend of mine, a life coach, who's still a dear friend of mine to this day that I, in fact, I spoke to him every Wednesday morning. We talked. And he gave me like, he had so much confidence in me when at a time I was doubting myself and my abilities. And I'm happy to say within a three, three and a half year period, I paid off the IRS. And I worked with that gentleman for six, seven years. And so he had a profound impact on my life and he strengthened my faith, my faith with God, you know, he's a man of faith. And so our coaching calls weren't just about business and making more money, but it was about life and it was about spirituality and it was about faith. And so just had a big ripple effect across multiple areas of my life. And that was through a friend and it was just a connection, right? So we talk about the art of connecting that was a connection made and that person, I don't, I don't know where I'd be today without. You know, having gone through that experience. That's amazing. Yeah. Coaching is such a difference maker. There's so many people out there that are like, they listen to the Tony Robbins or they listen to the different, different people. And I've, I've heard people call them grifters and all these kinds of things. And it's like, they've never tried it. All right. How do you, how do you know that something is a scam or something is fake if you've never tried it? That's right. And it's a mindset shift. You, it's all it is. It's all those guys are doing all of the self development, all the self help. It's, it's shifting your mindset. That's it. And man, you can create such amazing things when you think differently. Yeah, bro. Well, it's, we've come up with our time. I know you've got a call to get to, so I want to honor your time. Where can people reach you if they want to follow you on Instagram or maybe drop how much value they got out of this episode? Yeah, that'd be great. My handle on Instagram is at Alex Pardo 25. At Alex part of 25. Also I've, I've been hosting a podcast called the flip empire show for over eight years. So you guys can find it on apple podcast Spotify and some of those major platforms. And then, yeah, you can find me on Facebook and some of the other social channels. I'll be, I'll be launching a YouTube channel here and pretty soon. And so it's youtube. com forward slash Alex Pardo Awesome. Just dropped you a follow man. And by the way, guys, to my listeners here, if you got value out of this episode, as Alex mentioned, if you can go and leave a five star review or share this episode, that is how a podcast grows. Thank you so much for listening to the art of connecting and we'll catch you guys on the next episode. Take care.